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Family Caregiver Fatigue is on the Rise

What Can I Do To Help a Parent Caring for Another Parent


I recently wrote about the negative impact caregiving can have on family caregivers, particularly in minority populations.  Caring for someone else takes an emotional and physical toll on your body, much of this is overlooked for the 1 in 3 adults in the United States that provide informal care.  Healthcare workers, caregivers and informal family caregivers all share the love for providing that much needed care that can be very rewarding but also trigger a variety of emotions at times.  It is normal to feel sad, angry, frustrated and sometimes demoralized in this line of work.  There are couple simple ways you can help a family member that is going through this as a family caregiver.  

 

Make Yourself Available 

When a parent is caring for another parent (they are called the family caregiver), it is often hard to get involved as you hear both sides and it can confuse you.  You know that one is caring for the other that needs it but you are the child (who is an adult now) and this is a new situation for you, so start simple.  You can help by answering the phone when they call and listening.  Simply allowing them to have someone to talk to is you being part of their support system.  You do not need to stress knowing the answer to everything, just listening is doing a lot, so make sure to answer your phone or respond to that text.  When your family caregiver calls you, they are seeking social support from someone they trust and it is important that you be there for them, as their stress levels may elevated.  If you are able to meet your family caregiver in person, that is even better because it allows them to be in the presence of another individual who can help them clear their mind and remind them of the world around them.  I find the best way is to listen, understand and find a way to cheer them up with something positive.  Something positive can be a joke, something not that important you saw on TV, something that is happening in your life that is not that serious, any and all of these helps give them a short mental break and the more often they can tap you for this when they need it, the better.

 

 

Remind Them to Take Care of Themselves To

This is not being selfish, this is making sure that the family caregiver providing the care does not lose sight of their own well-being, which happens a lot.  This one to me is very important and can be as simple as telling them to remember to go for a walk or do some form of exercise that they feel comfortable with.  Taking time to go for a walk from my experience has shown to be the most helpful because you are outside around other living things like trees, other people, animals (squirrels, dogs, birds) and just other noise to distract from what might be going on inside their head.  Too often family caregivers forget to do this or just keep pushing it off saying they do not have time.  I find one way to help the family caregiver providing the care, is to give the other parent (the one needing care) a call and talk with them.  Let them know that it is good for the other to have a break and it is needed for both of them, but do not lecture them or say it straight out, find a way to ease into it in the middle of the conversation.  It takes some work and compassion, but as the adult child you have a unique connection to both parents and can help smooth over situations, so use that power to help both of them.  When talking with both parents, you may hear conflicting points of view, do not worry or look to take a side, work to remain neutral and it will help you stay in a good state with both parents at all times.

 

Remember that you as an adult child are not alone in dealing with this, there are over 40 million other families in the United States, going through something similar.  There are options to help: support groups on Facebook that you can tap into that are local to your parents area, there are non-profit groups called Villages in some areas that can offer some assistance (they require a membership annual fee), there are home care agencies that offer respite care (a paid caregiver that can come in and give your family caregiver a break), there are community centers that you can drop off a parent to for a few hours (some cost, some are free depending on your area) and then there is technology that can help offer assistance to family caregivers or even provide an additional layer of service (if you are in Northern Virginia Fairfax County or Arlington County, this is a great option to know about).

 

 

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